Day 33: Every Little Prison (Deliver Me)...

WEEK FIVE

Friday, August 17, 2012

Workout:
EASY MILEAGE - 15.5k in 1:08:45 (7:05/mile pace)
         Ran at 5:15am! It's been a long time since I've run significant mileage that early, it's incredibly challenging for me but at least I can keep it "slow" and get some recovery in at the same time as some training. Plus I get to see the sunrise!

Notes:
    Starting today with another impactful song, "Every Little Prison (Deliver Me)" - Matt Maher:

From wanting to be loved
From wanting to be praised by all
From needing to be first
From finding all my worth in this world
From wanting to be seen
From constant worrying about myself

Deliver me
From validating words that only seem to serve a heart that's proud
And all my self esteem, dressed up in vanity and doubt
From wondering if I am relevant and liked, so God

Deliver me, deliver me
Show me what it all looks like
Scribbled on the pages of a human life
Riddled through the ages until we see the light
Breaking all the cages wide open
Every little prison

From fear of letting go
From fear of the unknown ahead
From being overlooked
And so misunderstood again
From fear of being judged
From rumors of a love that fails

Deliver me, deliver me
Show me what it all looks like
Scribbled on the pages of a human life
Riddled through the ages until we see the light
Breaking all the cages wide open
Every little prison

Let every man be more than I
Closer to the truth when I'm set aside
Mostly of no use, but when I fall I fly
Breaking all the cages wide open
All these little prisons
Show me what it all looks like
Scribbled on the pages of a human life
Riddled through the ages until we see the light
Breaking all the cages wide open
Every little prison

       I have heard this song several times, but it wasn't until a couple days ago driving home from Norfolk, that I truly listened and HEARD this song, and man it was a revelation. I hope you can read deep into the lyrics and listen to the song before reading on: Click here to listen to the song.
        Anyway, I wish I could talk about this song in reflection, saying this is a battle I fought way back and overcame, but the honest truth is that this is a battle I fight everyday if not several times a day when it comes to my running career. The battle being the transition from running seeking self glory to running seeking only to glorify the Creator - real running. The lyrics really sum things up much more poetically and clearly than I could so I will leave it at the lyrics and encourage you all to reflect on the "little prisons" in your life that are hindering your walk with Christ. What prisons are you trapped in that are keeping you from experiencing God to His full.
       Running specific for me it is simply the self glory. I am but a man and I do love the praise and feeling of knowing you did something on the track, roads, course, or in a workout that make people marvel at your athletic accomplishments (even if they are miniscule to what others can accomplish). Pride is my biggest battle in life. I do pray for the day when the war is won and human pride is laying dead to the glory of God, but until then I simply fight everyday, in prayer and conscious actions, to surrender my pride and give God the glory! I pray that when this marathon mission reaches it's goal of an Olympic Trials qualifier that people will instantly think of God. That the work and results would reflect God's majesty, sovereignty, and love would be showing in radiance, to such an extreme that it would cloud out all images of me and my efforts. I pray not only that that would be the image for those following, but more importantly for me. That when I cross the finish line the mind doesn't feel pride and reflect on my hard work as in suggesting that I earned this, but instead I would fall to my face in aww of the Lord. This is the difference between the spirit of pride and the spirit of thankfulness...something I will go into further detail on a later blog as it is a constantly repeating spiritual battle of mine. 

This is Ryan Hall winning the 2008 Marathon Olympic Trials, this was his expression nearing the line after about 400m of just letting lose all the praise he had left in his body. It still gives me goosebumps. While part of me desires to experience what Ryan has on the running level, I more than anything want to experiene God on the run the way he has. I do not wish to have what Ryan Hall has in life, but simply wish to experience God at that pure of heights!

Day 32: Fight for Every Inch...

WEEK FIVE

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Workout:
RUN WORKOUT - Repeat 400's - Total Distance of 21.5k in 1:23:10 (6:12/mile avg)
     3.1k Warmup - 13:21 (6:55/mile pace)
     30 x 400m - 12k Total Time - 43:27 (5:49/mile pace)
         Recovery - 100-150m run after each interval - 4.4k total time - 17:55 (6:34/mile pace)
     2.1 k Cooldown - 8:27 (6:27/mile pace)

Notes:
     Paid for the two days of rest today. Learned my lesson by beating it into (or out of) myself! Legs had no snap to them today after the two days of letting my legs loosen up too much. Lesson learned is that in track training rest days don't hurt much and actually help as the mileage is low and workouts depend more on fresh legs; while this marathon training seems to require fatigued legs with tight muscle fibers in order to endure the intense labor (thus the rest can not continue)!
     One of my all time favorite sports movie speeches is the speech given by Al Pacino in "Any Given Sunday", the speech pertaining the battle for every inch in life. Here is a link to the audio clip of the speech if you haven't heard it (warning it does have some harsh language)... And here also is the script from the speech emphasizing in bold what I will emphasize in this blog:
I don't know what to say really.
Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives all comes down to today.
Either we heal as a team or we are going to crumble.
Inch by inch play by play till we're finished.
We are in hell right now, gentlemen believe me and we can stay here and get the shit kicked out of us
or we can fight our way back into the light.
We can climb out of hell.
One inch, at a time.

Now I can't do it for you.
I'm too old.
I look around and I see these young faces and I think I mean I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make.
I uh....
I pissed away all my money believe it or not.
I chased off anyone who has ever loved me.
And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror.

You know when you get old in life things get taken from you.
That's, that's part of life.
But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff.You find out that life is just a game of inches.
So is football.
Because in either game life or football the margin for error is so small.
I mean one half step too late or to early you don't quite make it.
One half second too slow or too fast and you don't quite catch it.
The inches we need are everywhere around us.
They are in ever break of the game every minute, every second.

On this team, we fight for that inch.
On this team, we tear ourselves, and everyone around us to pieces for that inch.
We CLAW with our finger nails for that inch.
Cause we know when we add up all those inches that's going to make the difference between WINNING and LOSING
between LIVING and DYING.

I'll tell you this in any fight it is the guy who is willing to die who is going to win that inch.
And I know if I am going to have any life anymore it is because, I am still willing to fight, and die for that inch because that is what LIVING is.
The six inches in front of your face.

Now I can't make you do it.
You gotta look at the guy next to you.
Look into his eyes.
Now I think you are going to see a guy who will go that inch with you.
You are going to see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team because he knows when it comes down to it, you are gonna do the same thing for him.

That's a team, gentlemen and either we heal now, as a team, or we will die as individuals.
That's football guys.
That's all it is.
Now, whattaya gonna do?

Strangely enough on my run I did think of a football movie and drew motivation from that. It was a battle out there today, I wanted to quit after nearly every interval, but made myself fight; my body was not that tired but my mind was crap. I was thinking of every excuse in the book as to why I should cut the workout short. 1) I was taking short run recoveries instead of standing rest making it much harder on myself - thus less repeats would be acceptable, 2) I was doing this out on the monster country hills and not flat ground as the workout was intended for - thus making it ok to cut it short, 3) it was on loose gravel and I was having to work extra hard, 4) it is very windy today, etc etc. But in the end I fought for every interval (or every inch relating it to Pacino's speech). I fought for every because I knew I needed to beat my mind up today, my mind let me be lazy yesterday and thus my mind would pay the price today.
I battled the conditions surrounding the workout and managed to average 1:26.9 for the 400's. With times all between 1:23-1:31...the hills and up's and down's in mental fight lead to the difference in times. But I fought, I beat my body, and now I feel fully confident in knowing I can fight and will fight from here out, knowing that somedays all the fight in the world isnt going to bring about an amazing workout (like today), but none-the-less I will fight!
Relating it to scripture I draw to 1 Corinthians 9:27, a verse Im sure I have used before on this blog, and know I will use again as it has been a resounding verse in my training since the early years of college.
"No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize." - 1 Cor. 9:27
I encourage you all not to get down on yourself if things start slipping in training or in life in general. Get up and fight for that next inch, that next moment, that next circumstance; for that is not only beneficial to your life but is bringing glory to your Creator. God does not encourage us to keep fighting but demands it! So get up and fight in whatever the circumstance is (and if it's running - then fight for every interval, every mile, every minute, or every step; whatever you gotta do to get it done just fight for it!)
The prize not being the earthly means of accomplishment but the promise of congratulations from the Creator at the end of your time for a battle well fought!

Day 31: Major Letdown...

WEEK FIVE

Wednesday, August 14, 2012

Workout:
Nothing

Notes:
    Certainly frustrated today (Thursday) reflecting back on yesterday and the major let down. I was worn out and from time to time I get too much going on and wear myself out to the point where I just crash for a day, that was yesterday for sure. No question that I should have gotten out for some mileage but I just couldn't convince myself to get going out the door. I admit my laziness and lack of commitment/desire on that day, but hope to move past that and onto a new day today.
   Check back later this evening for a new blog for today detailing my workout and rebound from let down. Sometimes major let downs and lapses in commitment are what I need to reenergize and rededicate. Hopefully this is but one of very few of these lapses in training. The main good that's come from it is that my knee is feeling nearly 100% while out and about today, hopefully will be just as strong on the run.